Dampier for MVP*

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time again to return our attention to the NBA: the playoffs have begun. The Rockets just snatched their first round series from Dallas, and while it's only 2-0, I just can't imagine the Mavs digging their way out of this hole. T-Mac is too good- witness his game-winning ice cold jumper, or his posterization of Shawn Bradley.

Is he the league's only Mormon? If not, he should be. This was more or less how effectual he was tonight:



Cheap shots on a 7'6" ghostly pale geek. Yes, it's easy, but he deserves it. So do the Mavericks. Aside from Dirk, their team is fit only for the rubbish heap. Dampier thinks he's the second best center in the league? YAOMING put it on him tonight in a big way.

Barkley was goofy as ever on the color commentary, I'm pretty sure I heard him say something along the lines of having TNT's stat nerds smoke crack to track down some ratio or other, a statement that could only be followed by a solid second or so of stunned silence and then the lame token white guy attempting to save things.

Magic Johnson was a great basketball player, but he doesn't belong on television for any reason. He is slightly better at color commentary than he is at talk show hosting. And dancing.


Rounding out the group is the eminently mediocre Kenny Smith. He's boring, and I can think of nothing interesting or worthwhile to write about him.

Now about last night. Clearly I was stalling, not wanting to wade through the wreckage that was the Spurs' game one loss. Absolutely hideous fourth quarter, with shot after shot falling short or rattling out but never, ever falling until Horry's meaningless three in the waning moments. That shot reminded me of my high school coach's mantra: make it look respectable. Duncan played okay at first, but wasn't yet in top shape and he looked tentative towards the end.


I hate you and your fishy eyes, Camby. While I fully expect San Antonio to bounce back and pound the Nuggets in game two, things do seem a little bit shaky in the Alamo city. They're my team, but even I have serious doubts about their hardiness. I just don't see it happening this season, as much as I'd like the Spurs to earn another championship. Just remember, Timmy- you can't hear me, la la la...

* oh wait... he sucks.

prelude to disappointment

Oh self sabotage, how I love thee. A shade over an hour until midnight, and I have my second and final editing exam at 9:35 tomorrow morning. And what am I doing, as if the answer to this rhetorical query were not already painfully obvious?

Hints:
I am not studying.
I am not reading.
I am not searching for entry level jobs online. Yet.

I am listening to a leaked Stephen Malkmus mp3 ("Baby C'Mon") and typing ("writing" would be giving this tripe too much credit) an inane blog entry for what reason? Because I haven't done one in a while? Because there's something else that I should actually be doing? I've got a pretty solid low B in this class, mostly because Wegener apparently has something against giving out A's, ever, but I did well on the first test (a 90, which I believe was among the top scores in the class) and now I'm setting myself up to ruin whatever good that may have done. And I am totally aware of what I'm doing - and as a soon to be graduating senior I am very nearly powerless to stop it.

On the TV Bob Dole is talking about not being able to take care of bodily functions. Bummer. Let it be known that you're one of the few Republicans whose media appearances I can contenance, but that probably has more to do with Norm MacDonald's genius portrayal of you. PEANUT BUTTER!

Oh Norm, where did you go? How did that cookie cutter ABC sitcom with the wiener dog not become a breakaway hit? Ah, maybe it had to do with the fact that Artie Lang was supposed to be your lovable sidekick, when even the director of Howard Stern's "tv show" is loathe to waste an inch of film on his disgusting mug.

"They gave us cigarettes for dessert." Delicious! The US Army - a tradition of taking care of America's youth!

Story on Stevenson Animal Companion Care-Life-Kitty Cat Center should run in the Batt tomorrow. All weekend I was chasing sources on this, to no avail, but happily things came together today and I was able to wrap it up this evening, turning the whole shebang in around 7. I'm fairly proud of this one, even if some of it is a little cutesy. But then maybe that's why I'm proud of it, since I'm kind of a sucker for that kind of thing.

And none of this will help me tomorrow as I stare down at a stack of paper asking me questions I cannot answer, but that I could look up in a pinch. Dammit dammit dammit Wegener you harsh, unforgiving man! It's pathetic- I'd rather undergo this stupid semi public self-flagellation than study. But now Aqua Teen Hunger Force is on, so I have something even better to do. Bring the pain.

may's day

Below, the aforementioned story in Monday's (4-4) edition of The Battalion, Texas A&M's finest news source. Okay, only news source- you think people actually read The Eagle? Bag it, Baggett.

You might have to register if you click the link above, so here it is below. I care about you so much I don't mind a little copy & paste:

[may 2 05 - I didn't mind, but the batt has other feelings. I know no one reads this, much less an old, but just edited entry and so do the powers that be (i'd imagine) but the thing's copyrighted and not by me. perfect from now on...]

Here is the tasteful graphic that ran alongside the story on the front page (honestly, it isn't so huge on the actual page):

[this wasn't really that cool either]

Don't know if that's going to show up, but you aren't really missing anything if it doesn't. Tonight's disappointing finale to this year's Dance is playing on my VCR in the background; I missed it live because I was at a friend's birthday dinner. As an ardent Duke fan, I was disappointed Roy Williams finally lost the albatross that'd been his constant companion. Choke artist no more, and he won it for his beloved UNC. Here it is: Augustine was no match for May (while he was in the game, anyway). Then again, no one was really able to put the clamps on big Sean. Then again, any team whose coach sports a disgusting orange blazer deserves to lose. This isn't the man himself, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that Bruce Weber feels about like this anyway:



I think this is Kasparov, after losing to a computer. Garry- you may not be a woman, but Deep Blue is a machine! Though I'm loathe to admit it, so were the Heels.

Someday, the state of Illinois will experience the ineffable joy of basketball success.



Oh, nevermind.

mel-loy, mel-loy

The Decemberists were fucking awesome, two hours of pure unbridled joy. A proper review TK, it just so happens today is a busy day for me, w/r/t the Batt. Just finished my UniDiversity story, which I'm fairly pleased with. Got some quotes from Dr. Anderson, who had been nigh unreachable for the past few weeks. Turns out that the key to journalism is being a tenacious bastard. I may even copy & paste the finished thing here tomorrow. So you've got that to look forward to.

Snagged these gemz (I hate that I've wasted moments of my life watching something as inane as "PoweR Girls" - and I hate Lizzie and her jacked up grill) last night at Waterloo, the best record store in the known universe:

&

I have to admit I was a bit afraid of searching "sister lovers" on Google images. The Internets is a dangerous place, after all.

hoop dreams

I'm as cynical as the next guy (ok, probably more so), but the piece about Hoop Dreams in North Carolina that CBS ran during their pregame coverage made me cry.

"HOOP DREAMS teaches successful life skills through athletics. Through these programs, participants develop life skills such as peer interaction and social skill development, problem solving, independence, self-reliance, conflict resolution, and team building. These skills provide a strong sense of self-worth and serve as a foundation for personal success."

Watching that blind NC State fan taunt the ref, holding up a pair of glasses- that sealed it. AWESOME