Weakened Update

It's been a while since I've updated, and as you might imagine, a hectic schedule and periodic laziness are to blame. Some noteworthy events of the intermission:

* seeing the Arcade Fire in concert at Emo's (did I ever mention how unbelievably awesome this was? I just checked my planner (lame, yes, but the most reliable means of figuring out where I was etc) and this show was on the 21st of January. Good God, that's like five weeks ago! Michelle even got some choice snapshots of the band going wild onstage, particularly Napoleon Dynamite's twin brother who was well worth the price of admission himself. Maybe 5 weeks from now I'll get around to posting a handful of those pictures. If you're a voracious Pitchfork reader like I am (and yes I realize that in some rarified circles this kind of confession is verboten), you've already heard that this Fire is a force of nature/once in a lifetime event/hyperbolic superlative of your choosing. You've heard that, and I can confirm it. One of the best shows I've ever seen.

* applying for graduation. Severe soul pain ensues.

* began writing for the Battalion, A&M's student newspaper as a senior journalism major in the thick of his last semester. Better late than never, right? Whatever. Two published stories so far, on black history month and Whoopin' Weekend, respectively. Registration seems to be required to access back issues, so maybe in the future I'll just post the finished thing here.

* began writing cd reviews for Frequency , the online zine arm of the college station of College Station, KANM. There's some pretty good stuff here on both music and film. My reviews, which I'm mostly satisfied with:

Bonnie "Prince" Billy & Matt Sweeney, Superwolf

...and you will know us by the trail of dead, Worlds Apart


And in sad news, Dr. Gonzo shuffled off this mortal coil. His ashes are to be shot out of a cannon, as per his final wishes.

Don't drink the kool aid - Mcswys Rep

Power struggle at the Paris Review

Here's a nice aside about one of my favorite periodicals:

"McSweeney's, which is actually solvent, has been particularly successful, having spawned a publishing house, a teaching foundation and even a spinoff publication, The Believer, devoted to reviews. You could make a good case that its founder, Dave Eggers, is in fact the Plimpton of his generation, who leads not just a troupe of earnest literary assistants but what amounts to a cult."

The above theory is bolstered by the recent release of "The Polysyllabic Spree" by The Believer. The book is a collection of Nick Hornby's not-so-cleverly-titled "Stuff I've Been Reading" column, and the title alludes to orchestral pop collective The Polyphonic Spree, who make nice music but are a bit too happy all the time.





I think I see the resemblance, don't you? Plus: I think that's the cheesiest photo I've ever seen, and from the looks of it, Dave knows it.

Hungry Like the Wolfe

"Surely contemporary America offers a third way between, as it were, the missionary calling and the missionary position."

That fine sentence is from a piece about Tom Wolfe's "I Am Charlotte Simmons," his widely panned but widely read new novel. It wasn't difficult for me to dismiss it as a bloated, boring behemoth (the novel weighs in at 676 pages and it is quite hard for me to make that kind of commitment), especially considering the putrid reviews. It is difficult for me to take a man who dresses like Wolfe seriously:



When almost every article about you features the word "dandy" prominently, you're just asking for ridicule, a la Jon Stewart's smackdown of that bow-tie wearing bitch Tucker Carlson.

A couple of friends of mine seem to be enjoying the novel, even if it does seem likely to be kind of dumb, at least to this particular college student. Granted, this is a classic example of judging a book by its cover (and the press it has received), but hear this- I'm in the twilight of my college years, and I don't need a geriatric blowhard to tell me what's right or wrong with our universities. My goodness! They have intercourse! They drink alcohol, sometimes excessively! They don't really care for their studies that much! INSANITY!

I know that I should probably read more of the novel besides the quotes featured as evidence in reviews that rip the thing to shreds, but as a reader, I feel that I have the right to be just as irrational and unfair as I want to be, especially when there is so much great stuff out there that can't get any kind of coverage. If I'm going to take the time to give Mr. Wolfe a chance, he had better give me a damn good reason to do so. You wrote a book about college students- so what? I do enough navel-gazing on my own time, so don't give me that 'unexamined life not being worth living' jive. Write about something I know little about, and maybe we can have a relationship. Because that's what we're really getting at here- the relationship between the author and his or her readers. A nearly 700 page novel is no small thing to take on, and Tommy, I'm just not so sure we're right for each other. Not this time at least.

But so you also wrote a book about drugs and Ken Kesey? Now we're talking! After all, I'm just another debauched college student. But you already knew that, didn't you?

SM: Civilized Satanist

Ask and you shall receive- only two posts back did I proffer a rhetorical question regarding Stephen Malkmus's latest opus. Quoth Matador:

"On May 24, Matador will be releasing the 3rd post-Pavement album from Stephen Malkmus, 'Face The Truth', on the every popular compact disc and phonograph long player configurations."

The bad news is that Malkmus won't be doing too much touring in support of the new record, aside from a headlining spot at SXSW and a few other shows here and there. Which is disappointing, because I recall seeing SM & his Jicks May 3, 2003, the eve of my twentieth birthday. That night was momentous not just for my getting to see my (let's be honest here) idol in the flesh for the first time after memorizing a majority of his songs, but also for my vivid memory of an extremely drunk, boisterous old man who asked me if I had been in the opening band. The guy had been sloshing beer over people and laughing about it, and I had spent a solid ten minutes psyching myself up- I had decided that if that bastard spilled on me, I was going to punch him right in the nose. That moment never came, however, but I won't soon forget the adrenaline and bottled frustration which was with me that night. Oh, and some girl fell flat on her ass after a few too many puffs on her one-hitter. That was kind of funny, and kind of sad at the same time.

In any case, the new record should be swell. Here's the tracklist:

1. Invisible Bodies
2. Baby C'mon
3. Horslip
4. Mmmmm...
5. Loud Cloud Crowd
6. No More Shoes
7. Mama
8. Malediction
9. Pencil Rot
10. It Kills
11. I've Hardly Been

memo to president gates

From an e-mail sent to (conceivably) students and faculty:

"On a completely separate matter, there seems to be a growing number of
rumors in the media and around campus that I am leaving Texas A&M to
become the new Director of National Intelligence (“Intelligence Czar”)
in Washington, D.C. To put the rumors to rest, I was indeed asked to
take the position, wrestled with perhaps the most difficult - and
close - decision of my life, and last week declined the position. I
was deeply honored to be asked and would have been honored to serve.
However, I decided to continue to serve at Texas A&M. In fact, last
week I agreed to the Board of Regents’ request that I remain as
President at least through summer 2008."

In other words- I just got a fat raise, I'm beloved by all the local power brokers, and I think I'd rather stick with a job where the worst that could happen to me would be having my house t.p.'d. Georgie Boy can find someone else to be his patsy.

Come on, how hard could it have been to turn that job down? 'Yes, I'd like the most high stress/low profile job imaginable. Yes, I'd like for my already-white hair to be naturally bleached further- hell, I want it to fall out all over my sweat-drenched pillow in the middle of the night as I attempt to sleep despite the ubiquitous night terrors. Yes, sign me up for a big fat heart attack. I will live on a diet of red meat and fear. You can hold the red meat, I'm actually not that hungry as my stomach is tied in knots. Yes, I'd prefer my sphincter to never open ever again.'

The following is a picture of Utah's ex-porn czar. I know that it's old news that she's been fired, but Dr. Gates, take a look at this mug:



Imagine how grizzled you'd be looking, fella.